Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Taking off the old...
I read the book of Colossians last night. The 3rd chapter was speaking to me loud and clear. So much so, that when I awoke this morning I read that chapter again. The thought that I need to seek those things which are above is what most captured my heart. It is in that truth that I see much of my own error. Though I have been raised with Christ, I seem to continually and always seek those things which are earthly. Just like in salvation there are two camps in which people live (saved vs. unsaved), there are only two camps for anything we encounter during life (earthly vs Godly). Sadly, most of my choices are for the earthly. Sure, Sunday mornings are devoted to the Godly. Many of my quiet times during the week would be considered Godly. But what about my thought patterns and decisions during the remainder of the week. Earthly for sure. I know that in my heart there are times when I am even performing a Godly task but my mind is thinking about earthly things. My thoughts race from financial concerns, future plans, Warcraft, and the like all day long. Why, I ask myself, do my thoughts race to and fro as they do when I have been raised with Christ and my life is hidden with Him? I suppose part of that answer is that I love those things. I am not supposed to, but I must if I allow my mind to devote so much time to them. What I desire, however, is that my mind would be renewed in Christ ala Romans 12. I need to put to death all those things which are earthly in me. Even the thought of that hurts. It sounds wonderful and I know for sure that the fruit thereof is wonderful, but actually putting to death EVERYTHING in my life which is not Godly is going to be a difficult task. Difficult...heck...it is impossible to be completely sanctified this side of Heaven, but it is something I must strive for. I need to start being very intentional in discerning "earthly" vs "Godly". When I deem something as earthly, I need to put it to death. Lord, I cannot do this without your help. So, I ask you send your Spirit afresh in my life for discerning truth from error. Let my thoughts and actions conform to your will. This I pray. I pray this is not something that last only a day. There is patience and endurance for your saints. I need it today. I need it tomorrow.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
First blog
Well, here it is, my first blog. Really, I believe this will simply be my personal journal outlining my journey in this life. I suspect nobody will ever see this, let alone find encouragement or hope through it. That doesn't bother me at all, for this is simply a tool for me to release what is in my heart.
Life is difficult.
The truth of this is all too evident in our lives. The lie our society feeds us is that life is supposed to be easy and fun. I guess it all depends on how one defines fun. If fun is getting drunk and living an immoral life style, then fun is easily obtained. The problem lies in the fact that self-indulgence NEVER satisfies our souls. It may seem to ease pain as we anesthatize our minds with drugs, alcohol, or busy-ness, but it never satisfies. The other problem is that self-indulgence and selfishness is the life that most of us lead. Selfishness is our default mode and the only way we really even know how to live apart from Christ.
So, here is my first blog. I am sure this will end up sounding like a schizophrenic mess, for that is sometimes how my mind feels. It is as if my mind is racing 1000 mph every moment of the day and all I want it to do is to slow down. I find myself becoming frustrated at how active my mind is. I am convinced this is not healthy, but I do not know how to apply the brakes. Perhaps I am ignorant. Perhaps I actually like my mind to race as it does. I say I desire a simplified life, and, yet, I keep making decisions which complicate it.
As I sit here in the still of the night, I wonder if this frantic activity is one of the things which killed my father (died at age 48 from a heart attack). Life is difficult. Life is difficult on so many levels it is hard to know where even to start. It is as if my life is one which is being lived against the very tide of society. Worse yet, it is being lived in opposition to my own indwelling sin nature. No wonder I may sound like a schizophrenic! So did the apostle Paul when he described the stuggle against sin.
A synopsis of my life currently:
I am coming out of a season of life in which I made many bad decisions which were rooted in an attempt to better my situation and provide for an early retirement. I have purchased different parcels of land and houses in a frantic search for a 'perfect' life. I have started (and now sold at a large financial loss) two real estate companies which I had no business even starting in the first place. I have researched ad nauseum cars, boats, and houses. I have bought those things only to have sold them as they didn't satisfy nor bring me any closer to either a perfect life or early retirement. The scary thing is not that I purchased all of these things, but the fact that I had deceived myself so greatly that I believed at the time that I was making wise decisions which would be used for Godly purposes. I have been humbled by how easy it is to get off track in life.
Easy to get off track, but how to get back on? I think the key to this answer lies in contentment and humilty. Both of these admirable qualities are hard grasp. Heck, they are hard to define. So, I have been reading. 17th century Puritan writers have an appeal to me in these areas. They had such a better grasp of Providence, Godliness, contentment and humility than the writers of this age seem to have. Maybe not, it just seems like that to me currently. The amazing thing is that even in the 1650's, people had the same struggles that I now face. Society really hasn't changed much since then. Sure, it is easier to stay busy now and distract ourselves with all sorts of media bliss, but the pull of the world system is no different.
Distractions. Isn't that what media offers. Television, music, games etc. all distract us from real relationship with one another and with God. Distractions are (for a short time) able to get our mind off of the painful things we all face and allow us to not deal with real issues in our lives. I am the king of distractions. T.V. and music hold no allure over me, for I cannot just sit and be still that long. It is computer gaming which holds the most appeal for me. It is in computer gaming that I am able to allow my mind to be active and interactive (I like role playing games, most recently World of Warcraft - beware, the game sucks you in) without really making decisions which have real consequences. (Consequences like buying crap I don't really need...not small things usually...I am more into big-ticket items). Of course, I acknowledge that there ARE in fact real life consequences of playing too much. Lack of sleep and lack of Bible study are just two quick examples. Not to mention the fact that my mind is still not quieted when I am offline. My mind will wander and I research Warcraft-related stuff. So, nothing has changed with my thought patterns. The only thing which has changed is the object of my thoughts and energy.
I know the one true object of my thoughts and energy should be Christ and His Kingdom. There have been plenty of times in my life when that has been true. It just seems like those times are fewer and far-between as of late. I guess one of the real reasons I post this blog today is to help me refocus my mind onto Jesus. I do truly love Him. Not perfectly, but I do. I feel sad to think how I can give my affections to anything in this world (games included) when I know what He accomplished for me on the Cross! The thought that one day I will see Him face to face and be washed clean is the hope which keeps me going day by day.
The title of this blog refers to Christian's journey to the Celestial City as outlined in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. It is my belief that next to the Bible, this book should be required reading for every Christian. I am, like Christian, on a journey. Also like Christian, I am apt to get off of the straight and narrow way which leads to the object of my desire. My hope is that this blog will help me stay on the path. If it helps anyone else, that is simply a bonus.
Life is difficult.
The truth of this is all too evident in our lives. The lie our society feeds us is that life is supposed to be easy and fun. I guess it all depends on how one defines fun. If fun is getting drunk and living an immoral life style, then fun is easily obtained. The problem lies in the fact that self-indulgence NEVER satisfies our souls. It may seem to ease pain as we anesthatize our minds with drugs, alcohol, or busy-ness, but it never satisfies. The other problem is that self-indulgence and selfishness is the life that most of us lead. Selfishness is our default mode and the only way we really even know how to live apart from Christ.
So, here is my first blog. I am sure this will end up sounding like a schizophrenic mess, for that is sometimes how my mind feels. It is as if my mind is racing 1000 mph every moment of the day and all I want it to do is to slow down. I find myself becoming frustrated at how active my mind is. I am convinced this is not healthy, but I do not know how to apply the brakes. Perhaps I am ignorant. Perhaps I actually like my mind to race as it does. I say I desire a simplified life, and, yet, I keep making decisions which complicate it.
As I sit here in the still of the night, I wonder if this frantic activity is one of the things which killed my father (died at age 48 from a heart attack). Life is difficult. Life is difficult on so many levels it is hard to know where even to start. It is as if my life is one which is being lived against the very tide of society. Worse yet, it is being lived in opposition to my own indwelling sin nature. No wonder I may sound like a schizophrenic! So did the apostle Paul when he described the stuggle against sin.
A synopsis of my life currently:
I am coming out of a season of life in which I made many bad decisions which were rooted in an attempt to better my situation and provide for an early retirement. I have purchased different parcels of land and houses in a frantic search for a 'perfect' life. I have started (and now sold at a large financial loss) two real estate companies which I had no business even starting in the first place. I have researched ad nauseum cars, boats, and houses. I have bought those things only to have sold them as they didn't satisfy nor bring me any closer to either a perfect life or early retirement. The scary thing is not that I purchased all of these things, but the fact that I had deceived myself so greatly that I believed at the time that I was making wise decisions which would be used for Godly purposes. I have been humbled by how easy it is to get off track in life.
Easy to get off track, but how to get back on? I think the key to this answer lies in contentment and humilty. Both of these admirable qualities are hard grasp. Heck, they are hard to define. So, I have been reading. 17th century Puritan writers have an appeal to me in these areas. They had such a better grasp of Providence, Godliness, contentment and humility than the writers of this age seem to have. Maybe not, it just seems like that to me currently. The amazing thing is that even in the 1650's, people had the same struggles that I now face. Society really hasn't changed much since then. Sure, it is easier to stay busy now and distract ourselves with all sorts of media bliss, but the pull of the world system is no different.
Distractions. Isn't that what media offers. Television, music, games etc. all distract us from real relationship with one another and with God. Distractions are (for a short time) able to get our mind off of the painful things we all face and allow us to not deal with real issues in our lives. I am the king of distractions. T.V. and music hold no allure over me, for I cannot just sit and be still that long. It is computer gaming which holds the most appeal for me. It is in computer gaming that I am able to allow my mind to be active and interactive (I like role playing games, most recently World of Warcraft - beware, the game sucks you in) without really making decisions which have real consequences. (Consequences like buying crap I don't really need...not small things usually...I am more into big-ticket items). Of course, I acknowledge that there ARE in fact real life consequences of playing too much. Lack of sleep and lack of Bible study are just two quick examples. Not to mention the fact that my mind is still not quieted when I am offline. My mind will wander and I research Warcraft-related stuff. So, nothing has changed with my thought patterns. The only thing which has changed is the object of my thoughts and energy.
I know the one true object of my thoughts and energy should be Christ and His Kingdom. There have been plenty of times in my life when that has been true. It just seems like those times are fewer and far-between as of late. I guess one of the real reasons I post this blog today is to help me refocus my mind onto Jesus. I do truly love Him. Not perfectly, but I do. I feel sad to think how I can give my affections to anything in this world (games included) when I know what He accomplished for me on the Cross! The thought that one day I will see Him face to face and be washed clean is the hope which keeps me going day by day.
The title of this blog refers to Christian's journey to the Celestial City as outlined in Bunyan's Pilgrim's Progress. It is my belief that next to the Bible, this book should be required reading for every Christian. I am, like Christian, on a journey. Also like Christian, I am apt to get off of the straight and narrow way which leads to the object of my desire. My hope is that this blog will help me stay on the path. If it helps anyone else, that is simply a bonus.
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